What Can I Say?
Autistic people cannot reasonably be expected to exhibit personal qualities and behavior identical to that of their typically developing peers. When difficulties arise, intelligence, compassion and humility are in order, not arrogance, negative judgment and contempt. An autistic person should no more be held at fault for eccentric or challenging behavior in a social environment than should a visually impaired person be held at fault for difficulty navigating an unfamiliar environment. It is inherently discriminatory to scrutinize a person with a cognitive or sensory difference, then to penalize them for the very challenges that accompany that difference. It is unconscionable to employ governmental power in an attempt to enforce such discrimination. It is inaccurate and disgraceful to suggest that contact with persons with cognitive difference poses a threat to others. It is particularly inhumane to inflict such damning judgment upon a child.
And THAT is what I should say to the next judgemental idiot who has something snarky to say about my son's behavior in public!
This is a part of an article written by Kathleen Siedel, the Autistic Distinction. Its over on Neurodiversity.com. I just love her and what she has to say about Autism.
And THAT is what I should say to the next judgemental idiot who has something snarky to say about my son's behavior in public!
This is a part of an article written by Kathleen Siedel, the Autistic Distinction. Its over on Neurodiversity.com. I just love her and what she has to say about Autism.
posted by echotig at 7:50 PM
8 Comments:
Good for you! I was out with my sister and my nephew - as well as my own son - one day, and my nephew had a quasi-meltdown. The woman at the counter waiting on them, didn't realize we were together, and made some sort of rolling eyes gesture and comment to me on how he was behaving , and then proceeded to compliment my contrastingly quiet son. To which I politely informed her, that "boy" she was referring to was my nephew, and that he had "special needs" and that I didn't appreciate her commentary. She promptly apologized and continued with my purchase. Some people just don't have a clue.... or any class for that matter.
10 24 05
Hello BWH:
What a heartwrenching post. I can't visit your site too much otherwise I feel reality! You know, a dear friend of mine has an autistic brother. He has been doing poorly for a few years because they doped him up on psychiatric meds and it really slowed him down and made him gain at least forty pounds. Before that, he was really handy with tools, computers and technology. He knew anything about anything in computing technologies. Then, after all the dope he couldn't even tie his shoe (which he cld do before). That broke my heart; but his outbursts in public necessitated action. Now, they moved up to Oregon and are on some nice land. He does equestrian therapy and has lightened up the prescriptions and is doing a lot better. Ultimately, it is good that you are aware and intune with your son's condition. Just don't let him become a guinea pig later on, this is from someone who cares...And thx for visiting my site btw. God Bless!
Thank you both for your comments. I've learned that autism seems to touch everyone's life in some way. Everyone I know seems to know someone with a relative, or a neighbor. Thankfully they all have nice and encouraging things to say! I appreciate your thoughts!
Thank you so much!
Kathleen I would have linked your article, but I was having trouble doing so that day!
Very good! I've found people are far too quick to judge the behavior of children they know nothing about. My son isn't a kid with special needs in the typical use of the word, but he had behavior problems for a while when his dad first left. He wasn't even three yet, and he was traumatized.
Thank you for sharing about your son. I'm taking special ed courses for my teaching credential, and the family's perspective I get from you and others who blog is invaluable.
God bless.
BWH,
I don't remember if i clarified this, but i also have a 6 year old with high functioning aspergers. My 3 year old and one year old are typical.. So i have a 5 year old with autism and 6 year old with aspergers.
Words really can't explain how precious children on the spectrum really are.. Yes, they may have their meltdowns, and with aspergers- misunderstandings and OCD.. But, They are so naive.. I can't explain it, but my one with Autism is the most loving person. He tries to understand emotions, and words. He mis-reads stuff all the time, and reacts emotionally inappropriate. But i can see through all that and I find a child who deeply loves his older brother, his mom and dad, and all the ABA therapists he has ever had.
He loves his para at school.
As you know, children with autism sometimes present some pretty 'interesting' fixations. With isaac it was poop, and skin for the longest time.
Then, after he stopped the poop thing, he became obsessed with touching skin so much that he would literally befriend fat women at the pool. He would go up to them and do inappropriate rubbing etc.. We usually catch him though!
Both my 6 and 5 year old can't ride a bike well, or swing.
They are both cognitively average to above average, so we don't have that as an issue.
Last summer i put them both on the city soccer team. WHAT A MISTAKE. Elijah-(aspergers), found it boring and did well when he wanted to.. He loves computers, science and History.
Isaac-(Autistic), couldn't handle the movement, and didn't understand team work. The sensory levels were too high.. The light outside, the flags on the field. He would stand there when they started the game and talk to himself and grab his ears. Sometimes during the game he would wander off the field and sit down underneath a flag and stare at the flag blowing in the wind. he loved that part. (He has never done that in a structured environment, like playing kickball at school).
But the heart breaker was when they started the game and he went into his own world and started acting like a dinosaur making some odd movements. THe rest of the kids were running down the field kicking the ball. It freaked me out because he didn't do that at home or even when we were out and about. It was like Isaac was really showing his autistic colors. He did so well with ABA prior to that. no tantrums, starting to talk, etc.. Then it seemed to fall apart at the game.
I felt for him. I am a mom, and I can't stand people who get so serious about their kids' sports activities at 4,5, and 6. So, my boys were not helping our team out. I had to get permission to para him on the field, but it some other parents didn't think that was fair.
SO.. this past fall we didn't receive a call for our kids to play on the team. Everyone else did but us. It was like they wouldn't give my boys a chance because they didn't get it.
Kids with Autism DO GET IT eventually. you just have to keep working with them. It may take them a little longer.
BWH, oh yeh.. almost forgot! God has literally blessed us with some therapists that were totally incredible. Especially this last one we had. She did therapy with both boys.. Aspergers is very much opposite of autism. Kids with aspergers have a great verbal ability. So, she had her work cut out. Elijah thinks he knows everything and can be almost too self-centered. But, he is doing better since therapy.
I am homeschooling elijah. Isaac wants me to homeschool him. he blurts it out every now and then, but i am not 100% sure if he wants to or not. THe k12 curriculum is very advanced, like 2 grade levels above public. Isaac is smart, but i am afraid he would not understand a lot or be able to move at their pace. THey are thinking he is doing so well at focusing he may not need a para in first grade. He can finish a paper on his own now. He used to start to write, then look to the side and stim and start writing all over his paper and scribble.
Sorry so long!! I could fill too much of your blog up! Sorry!!
I've worked with autistic children, had them in public places and have experienced the moronic behavior some people display. If they'd just take a minute to think, they'd realize the child IS a special needs child. The other part of it is, the could mind their own business & keep their nose to themselves.
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