No Hitting!
No hitting. That's a phrase used in my house ad nauseum. We say this to Tiger all day every day.
As of late he is hurting himself to the point I think he may do some real damage. Last week at school he head banged something and cut through his lower lip. His father had to go to the school and see if he needed to go to the hospital or if we could take care of it with liquid bandage. Luckily it was not as bad as it sounds. Liquid bandage did the trick.
Now, if you have never seen the fit of a child with autism, well, you just haven't seen anything. Fit may not be the best word. Wall eyed fit is something one would say here in Texas, but I am not sure how to explain what that means either. Its so bad that if this were to happen in public we would most likely be arrested. The scene is so physical, that if you didn't know what was going on you'd be sure we were beating him. If you looked at his physical bruising, you be sure we are beating him. If you looked at his bruised up face...you'd think for sure someone is beating him. What we do is try to hold his hands so that he can't hit himself. He is so strong that we have to sit on him. He tries to bite and then we pin him more.
Tiger likes to hit and slap things with his hands. He likes to slap his own forehead. He likes to ram himself into the wall. He likes to head butt holes into the wall. There are countless holes in the doors and walls of this house. Lately he does this new thing where he hits himself until he bloodies his nose. He did this night before last. His daddy wasn't here to help me. It took all the strength I could muster to keep him down and from hurting himself. This went on for about an hour. You'd think he'd exhaust himself and quit. But he kept on going and going. And at the end of it I was left bewildered, and exhausted. I don't know what to do with this situation anymore. He can almost over power me...and he is 7! So besides working out with weights to get strong enough to be more able to hold him down, what can I do? The problem is not being strong enough to hold him down. The problem is that he needs to be held down.
I've written before about how his autism doesn't rule everything I do. But it does have a serious effect on everyday life around here. I have to keep the front, back, and garage door locked at all times.(Or he may run away.) All the bedroom doors have locks. Most of our food is in the garage.(because he will get all the goodies out and put them in various parts of the house.) We can't go to movies as a family. We can't go to church as a family. We rarely go out to dinner as a family. We can't often go shopping as a family. His behavior IS starting to dominate our family.
There is hope. His behaviors change. We used to have all sorts of problems with him that are no longer an issue today. I used to have to practically sit on him to get him dressed in the morning. He was 5 before he was completely potty trained. Just last year we couldn't keep him from coloring all over the walls, tables, furniture. He no longer does this. My hopes are up that this too will pass. Hurting himself has got to pass. I hope one day there will be no more hitting.
As of late he is hurting himself to the point I think he may do some real damage. Last week at school he head banged something and cut through his lower lip. His father had to go to the school and see if he needed to go to the hospital or if we could take care of it with liquid bandage. Luckily it was not as bad as it sounds. Liquid bandage did the trick.
Now, if you have never seen the fit of a child with autism, well, you just haven't seen anything. Fit may not be the best word. Wall eyed fit is something one would say here in Texas, but I am not sure how to explain what that means either. Its so bad that if this were to happen in public we would most likely be arrested. The scene is so physical, that if you didn't know what was going on you'd be sure we were beating him. If you looked at his physical bruising, you be sure we are beating him. If you looked at his bruised up face...you'd think for sure someone is beating him. What we do is try to hold his hands so that he can't hit himself. He is so strong that we have to sit on him. He tries to bite and then we pin him more.
Tiger likes to hit and slap things with his hands. He likes to slap his own forehead. He likes to ram himself into the wall. He likes to head butt holes into the wall. There are countless holes in the doors and walls of this house. Lately he does this new thing where he hits himself until he bloodies his nose. He did this night before last. His daddy wasn't here to help me. It took all the strength I could muster to keep him down and from hurting himself. This went on for about an hour. You'd think he'd exhaust himself and quit. But he kept on going and going. And at the end of it I was left bewildered, and exhausted. I don't know what to do with this situation anymore. He can almost over power me...and he is 7! So besides working out with weights to get strong enough to be more able to hold him down, what can I do? The problem is not being strong enough to hold him down. The problem is that he needs to be held down.
I've written before about how his autism doesn't rule everything I do. But it does have a serious effect on everyday life around here. I have to keep the front, back, and garage door locked at all times.(Or he may run away.) All the bedroom doors have locks. Most of our food is in the garage.(because he will get all the goodies out and put them in various parts of the house.) We can't go to movies as a family. We can't go to church as a family. We rarely go out to dinner as a family. We can't often go shopping as a family. His behavior IS starting to dominate our family.
There is hope. His behaviors change. We used to have all sorts of problems with him that are no longer an issue today. I used to have to practically sit on him to get him dressed in the morning. He was 5 before he was completely potty trained. Just last year we couldn't keep him from coloring all over the walls, tables, furniture. He no longer does this. My hopes are up that this too will pass. Hurting himself has got to pass. I hope one day there will be no more hitting.
posted by echotig at 3:58 PM
2 Comments:
Hi,
You might find some helpful stuff about what a meltdown feels like from the inside on Ballastexistenz blog (there's a link on the Autism Diva blog). Amanda is autistic and has experienced much of the worst of therapies and has been stressed to the hilt, which is what usually brings on meltdowns.
Have you been able to figure out what triggers the meltdowns (walleyed fits)?
Can Tiger give you a clue as to when one is coming on, or tell you what caused one?
Thanks for leaving the nice comments on the Autism Diva blog.
Susan Senator describes how they used stories to help her son to predict what would be happening, to help him to get some predictability out of new situations (first time at a new Restaurant...) . Autism Diva hasn't read Susan's book yet, but has heard her on radio and TV interviews. She's at susansenator.com
Her son is 17 now and is "classically" autistic as are Amanda Baggs and Michelle Dawson and jypsy's son Alex. Did you read about "jypsy's acceptance therapy", there's a link to that on the AD blog, too.
Thank you Thank you for the links and your kind comments.
I think the most frustrating thing about his meltdowns are that we can't exactly figure out what is triggering them. To some degree its noise. The sound "SHHHH" is all but verboten in our home. We were at a restaurant once and the waiter said "Shhh" as he passed, and Tiger went nuts. (The waiter wasn't even talking to us, but was joking with another patron.)
Other times they come on gradually with him wandering around the house hitting objects, then himself. Then of course when we try to help him stop, he gets more upset and sometimes it gets way out of hand.
I've been anxious to get the perspective from an adult with Autism as to how they felt as a child. I want to have at least some clue of what he may be feeling/thinking. I'll be reading ALOT more today after work. Possibly during....
Thanks Diva!
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