dreams

I am a prolific dreamer! I almost always remember the dreams I have each night. Here lately I have had a couple of dreams about Tiger talking. In one he said a few words. In the other he was just talking like all my other kids. I can't begin to describe how good it felt.

I want for him to talk so much. I can see how hard he tries to be understood. Last year it seemed like he was making a little progress and this year, its gone back to nothing. Every once in a while I can get him to say something. And it only seems like he is willing so say it only if he really wants to. For instance, he was ready to go home after an overnight visit to his grandparents. So when I told him to say "Bye-bye" he very willingly did so. Loud and clear too.

This year he won't even tell the bus driver bye, but last year he did it consistently! He really liked the driver and the helper last year! This year...not so much. Its disappointing, but what can I do. I don't really like the driver either, but I don't make it obvious. Maybe Tiger can pick up on clues I don't realize I am giving off. Maybe he notices there's no smiling or chatting.

I've heard from several pepople who had boys such as mine. They all said that after 12/13, they talked. they finally figured it out. That gives me hope, although not sure why. Meanwhile, I'll keep dreaming!

The Wonderful World of Autism

I just read an article about a 5 yr old boy that died from a treatment called chelation. Its basically a treatment meant to remove heavy metals from the body. Since so many people believe mercury is a direct contributor to autism, chelation seems like a good idea. But this baby was 5. I cringe because the death of any 5 year old is tragic. But more so I cringe because this is a treatment that was recommended to me by other parents. Well meaning but Kooky parents here in my own neighborhood.

When we first moved here we were encouraged to join up with other parents in the Collin County Autism Society. It was supposed to help. I didn't get much out of it. A few times I was bombarded with advice about completely changing his diet. That gluten free crap. And just about everything has gluten, folks. After an hour of one well meaning mom, I asked if her son was better. Not really, and he was still on other medication. The parents meetings also seemed to be devoted to griping about politics. Lots of Bush bashing. Last time I looked, he wasn't the one responsible for the care and treatment of my son. "He should do more " was a common complaint. (Like what?) The meetings turned into an exercise in futility. Nothing was accomplished. I certainly didn't feel better. I left more confused and discouraged than before.

It also seems everytime a parent gets interviewed by any media all they can say is that mercury in immunizations cause autism. Maybe that is their experience. I can't blame them for feeling the way they do, if their child truly changed after a shot. But that wasn't my experience. And they speak for all parents? What does consistently blaming mercury in immunizations do to help my child who already has autism? We can't go back in time. I just don't understand the blame game. It hinders real progress. All the effort thats going to proving that unsubstantiated mercury link, and it really is unsubstantiated, could be going to real research.

I've met and seen parents that have their whole life affected and devoted to Autism. It rules every aspect of their lives. I used to feel bad that I wasn't a crusader for Autism. That maybe I was viewed as not caring as much as they do. So I don't take Tiger to the doc every five minutes. I haven't tried every wacky diet/treatment plan. I'm doing the best I can with the tools God gave me. I do what I think is best for Tiger. I treat him like a regular child. I treat him like the beautiful, sweet, smart, 7 year old that he is. Its always been my instinct and intention to do so. His siblings also treat him like that. They wish he didn't have autism, but they also relish his bouts of normalcy. They cheer when he says a word. They are truly excited to see him do things right that he once struggled with.

I don't feel bad anymore for not letting his Autism turn me into a Kook. I love my son too much for that. I have a connection to other parents of Autistic kids. But don't lump me in there with those that would do anything or blame anyone. It breaks my heart to see some of these kids suffer through their useless treatments. And some have even lost their lives.

Cute

Corpus Christi beach

Tiger Clothes

Tiger has been a tiger for Halloween 5 out of his 6 Halloweens. He was a pumpkin the first time, and honestly didn't seem too happy about it. In retrospect, I think I should not dress my children as food. Anyway, his tiger costume is getting small, he is getting big and I need to make him a new one. He wears this costume all the time. I don't know why. Maybe he likes being the tiger. I looked and looked for a good tiger costume to fit him now, but they were either cheap and flimsy or nice and way, way overpriced!

The rest of the time Tiger prefers to be naked, or half naked. (No pants.) He likes to change clothes through out the day. He likes to wear evryone else's clothes too. Even his little sister's clothes aren't safe! So he walks around in skin tight jeans and highwaters. He really is too much fun sometimes!

Sensory Issues

Every day he comes home with a new bruise or scrape. He hurts himself intentionally . He has a sensory problem. He needs more than normal. I thinks he's had a perpetual bruise on his head since he was walking. He likes to head butt things. He loves to smack things with his open hand. I can't even count how many times he has broken windows in our house. Last week he head butted the school bus door and cracked it! It was awful. He wasn't hurt but they had to send out a different bus, and then another one came along. It was a mess. I'm just glad he hasn't bloodied his head with this behavior.

Water! That kid would stay in the water all day if I let him. Its to the point that I can't let him in the back yard without him turning on the water. And no matter how many times I turn it off or tell him to stop, he won't. I guess something about pouring it and feeling it does something for his sensory integration. He was that way with sand too but it got to be such a huge mess!

Eventually we will buy a house with a pool. Then I will worry ALL the time about him getting in the water. He hasn't been taught how to swim yet. And maybe we will get a trampoline too. Who knows. He needs a lot of action though! Ha! I said action.